A sleepless night....

I don't know about you but I hate it when I cant sleep! I hate the feeling when you wake up in the middle of the night knowing you only have a few precious hours to sleep but you feel they are wasting away as you stare at the ceiling. It is one of the most frustrating things for me.
After I realize I am not going to fall back asleep anytime soon, I let my mind wonder. You see, one of the main reasons I don't like waking up in the middle of the night is because it makes me feel like I am the only one awake and everyone else in the world is dreaming away. So this makes me think about the saying "You don't know that God is all you need until God is all you have." To me it is a pretty powerful statement but it can't be fully understood until you are down to that point where you feel that God is all you have in the world. Laying in bed tonight really mad me feel that way. I felt like it was just me and God in the world. It kind of put me back in my place because in my heart I know that God is all I need...but I don't always live that way. I place all these worldly desires and thing that I want to do in front of God and spending time in the Bible and praying. It breaks my heart because I know that in the end all the things I desire in this world will amount to nothing. Living life the way I want to live it only leads to heartache.
It all seem so simple when you think about it; God is all you need. You see, we already have all the answers we need in the Bible. God gave us everything we need to know in every situation in this book!...unfortunately we don't always follow what the Bible teaches us. We sin.
I can't relate any better to Paul than when he wrote Romans 7:18-20:
" ...For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do ; no, the evil I do not want to do- this I keep doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."
Sin is always going to be apart of our lives for as long as we live. It has been since the beginning of time and will be til the end of time. It separates us from God.
I want so bad to rely fully and completely on God. I want to live the life where God is all I need...but my sin keeps hindering me. It pulls me under.
Though sin is always going to be apart of our lives, we don't have to give into it. God is stronger than our sin. James 4:7 says, "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." To grow closer to God we have to do just that, resist the devil, resist sin.
...and though we all sin, the question is; are we letting sin be the ruler of our lives, or God?

"...God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords....To him be the honor and might forever. Amen." -1 Timothy 6:15-16